Hey- remember when I wanted to have a blog and actually write in it about things that mattered to me?
Well, apparently I suck at it.
Things are just in a weird place right now. I'm spending the week by myself, while Ian is in Mexico. Where we used to live. Doing things that we used to do. Seeing people and things that we used to see. Laying on what used to be our bed. And he's sharing these experiences with a whole bunch of other people (well, hopefully not the laying on the bed part...). Things that we used to do, just us, together.
Even though sometimes living in Mexico seems like a lifetime ago, I still remember all kinds of silly details like we were just there yesterday. Seeing all these pictures and videos brings it all back. And makes my heart ache. It's a weird kind of pain I'm not familiar with.
The roles will be reversed here soon enough. Then I'll be able to tell you what it's like on the other side of this weird "I-no-longer-live-in-Mexico-but-still-kind-of-wish-I-did-sometimes" feeling.
Until then... I will try to get back on the posting about Captivating (which means I have to get back to the reading of Captivating...) AND I will be posting a new, delicious baked good tomorrow (Thanks, God, for an extra day in February- I need it!)
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Anxious thoughts/wayward paths...
Answer me when I call to you, O God who declares me innocent.
Free me from my troubles. Have mercy on me and hear my prayer.
- Psalm 4:1
Do you ever have those times where you read something and the words resonate so well with where you're at, you can feel it piercing heart?
The day before I read this, I was feeling convicted about how anxious I can get sometimes. It was obvious to me upon reading this verse that when it comes to my anxieties, I am (or should be, anyway) begging God to free me from those things.
I know that I am so small. And I forget all the time that my life is not about me. It's about God and how I can be serving him and making the most of the opportunities he places in my life. I'm blessed with so much. I know I take it for granted that these things aren't really "mine." Nothing in my life is mine. It's all God's and I only have it because he lets me.
And I get anxious when I don't know how things will work out or be provided for. How I will provide for myself (or.. my husband and I, since we are a team at this money thing now). Even though I KNOW that all of the money in the world is God's and he will make sure we are taken care of (yea, yea- that whole "he-clothes-the-lilies-of-the-valley-and-feeds-the-birds-of-course-he-will-care-for-you" speech from Matthew 6)
Sometimes I wonder what I am even doing with my life. Yet amidst the anxiousness and uncertainty, I do feel a resounding clarity that I must be dong something right. God has blessed me with very natural opportunities to share with people who don't know him some of what he has done in my life and what I believe because of my faith in him. To share the HOPE that I have because of him.
I know I need to just continue being faithful with what he has given me. To trust him with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. And HE will make my wayward path straight. To delight myself in HIM and he will give me the desires of my heart.
He sure hasn't failed me yet...
Free me from my troubles. Have mercy on me and hear my prayer.
- Psalm 4:1
Do you ever have those times where you read something and the words resonate so well with where you're at, you can feel it piercing heart?
The day before I read this, I was feeling convicted about how anxious I can get sometimes. It was obvious to me upon reading this verse that when it comes to my anxieties, I am (or should be, anyway) begging God to free me from those things.
I know that I am so small. And I forget all the time that my life is not about me. It's about God and how I can be serving him and making the most of the opportunities he places in my life. I'm blessed with so much. I know I take it for granted that these things aren't really "mine." Nothing in my life is mine. It's all God's and I only have it because he lets me.
And I get anxious when I don't know how things will work out or be provided for. How I will provide for myself (or.. my husband and I, since we are a team at this money thing now). Even though I KNOW that all of the money in the world is God's and he will make sure we are taken care of (yea, yea- that whole "he-clothes-the-lilies-of-the-valley-and-feeds-the-birds-of-course-he-will-care-for-you" speech from Matthew 6)
Sometimes I wonder what I am even doing with my life. Yet amidst the anxiousness and uncertainty, I do feel a resounding clarity that I must be dong something right. God has blessed me with very natural opportunities to share with people who don't know him some of what he has done in my life and what I believe because of my faith in him. To share the HOPE that I have because of him.
I know I need to just continue being faithful with what he has given me. To trust him with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. And HE will make my wayward path straight. To delight myself in HIM and he will give me the desires of my heart.
He sure hasn't failed me yet...
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