convicción

As I was reading the book of Jonah this morning, I felt a strong conviction. In the last chapter of the story, Jonah is angry with God for changing his plans to destroy Nineveh. Because the people repented of their wayward ways and wanted to serve God, he decided not to destroy them and Jonah was PISSED. So he just sits at the top of a hill, waiting for what he thought God's plans were to happen. Jonah's reactions to God's will show that his heart is hard and he only wants to see what he thinks God's will should be.

I feel like this is how I have been for the last month. Whining and angry because my life is not what I always thought it should be. Not saying that everything in my life is bad. I'm going to be marrying my best friend in 92 days, which is amazing and I can't wait. But it's everything else that I've been having a hard time with. Ministry, job, friends... None of those things are what I always thought God had planned for me.

Instead of embracing what God has blessed me with now, I've just been sitting at the top of the hill, waiting for what I thought was God's will to magically start happening.

The book of Jonah abrubtly ends with a question from God and doesn't show Jonah processing through the lesson from God. And I think it's so that the reader will stop and process through it. Not everything in this story, or even the overall lesson that God taught Jonah, relates to me right now.

I just know I need to get off this hill.

Padre Santo, gracias por esta convicción. Por favor, ayúdame bajar esta cumbre. Quiero abrazar tu voluntad. Ayúdame.