lamento

I've been feeling a lot like a tortured soul these days. If you've heard "Again" by Flyleaf, that's what I feel like my heart and soul are like right now.

Longing with no satisfaction. Reaching with nothing to hold on to. Aimlessly wandering with no direction.

Okay, so that's probably being a little dramatic. But really, I have been feeling like my soul is being tortured these days. The longings in my heart are growing stronger and I feel like I'm just crying out to God because I know He's the only one who can satisfy the desires of my heart... and yet, He's not.
I feel like God's giving me the, "be still and know that I am God" answer. I know this verse gets misused a lot, and I'm not trying to do that here.

Amidst all of the doors slammed in my face, the unknown of the future, the desires I know I have because God gave them to me, and the crying out, I feel like sometimes I'm begging and pleading with Him to MOVE in my life because I don't see it and I don't feel like He is.

But He's saying to me, "Be still and know that I am God." - "Lisa, I am working and doing things in your life. Just because it's not turning out like you thought it would doesn't mean I'm not here and I'm not moving. And as for you, I am preparing you for something that better and greater than you ever could have imagined. It's not going to be the glamorous little picture you've planned out in your head. My plan is way better than that. I just need you to trust me. Trust me and follow me. Know my love for you is true and run after me with all you've got in you. Show me your love for me by living your life as a sacrifice to me. I know you're trying and you don't know what I'm doing right now, but keep on trusting. I know the plans. And they are fabulous. Just be still, and know that I am God."