odiar

In FIVE days, I will be married. I've been counting down the days for so long, it seems surreal that it's actually going to be here in a matter of days. Something that's stuck on my heart that I've been pondering lately and recognizing in my life over the last month is the fact that Satan hates marriage.
The woman in our mentor couple prayed for me a month ago, and she said in her prayer, "God we know that Satan hates marriage, so we just pray that you protect them..." It shocked me like a flash of lightning. I wanted to stop her and say, "Hold up- Satan hates marriage?! Where did this come from and WHY have we not talked about this?!" It was nothing had ever occurred to me before. Satan hating marriage...

So, I spent quite a bit of time wondering why. Why does Satan hate marriage? If that's true, what am I getting myself into?? Something ELSE in my life that Satan hates....

But then I started to see ways that Satan hating marriage has manifested itself in society. Infidelity, divorce, abuse... None of those things are of God, nor are they how God created relationships to be. God may allow these things to happen, but He does not cause them. It's heartbreaking and disgusting how the enemy can just weasel his way in and destroy relationships.

I finally realized that it completely makes sense that Satan hates marriage. I mean, marriage between a man and a woman emulates the relationship between Jesus and the Church (the body of Christ). Duh! How could I not see that? Of course Satan hates anything in my life that is of God- and marriage definitely is of God. So the enemy hates and seeks to destroy everything about marriage and people who are entering it. Even people who don't know God. Because this THING- this bond, this commitment- they are making is of God, created by God, orchestrated by God, made in the image of God and His relationship with His people. Satan wants to destroy any hopes of people coming to know God and marriage is a very easy target.

So even though I'm so excited and joyful to be marrying the man of my dreams and best friend this Saturday, I know I need to be on my guard even more so now. And I need to be actively praying for my (soon-to-be) husband, his walk with God, and for our relationship.

It's a seemingly daunting task, but I'm ready to take it on. With my best friend.

Psalm 42

I am getting married in 11 days. I feel like I'm remaining relatively calm, but there are so many little detail things that need to get done. I find myself constantly running through the list of things that need to get done in my head over and over again. Not that going over it gets any of it done.

I did have a brief period today when I was overwhelmed with how some things were going to get done; pretty important things, like getting our marriage license, so you can understand my panic.

I took some time this afternoon to go for a walk through campus- something that always calmed me down in college. I stopped at the part of the Red Cedar behind the Admin Building, where the water rushes down the ledge. I had forgotten how much time I had spent sitting there, letting God calm me amidst the chaos in my life. It was so soothing and refreshing. And reminded me of verses from this psalm.

As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God. 

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God? 

...Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me. 

By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life. 

...Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

vv 1-2, 7-8, 11

Still, amidst the chaos in my life, God calls to me, calms me, and makes me stand in awe of Him. He knows just what I need and He always provides. That's my God. Amazing.

I am dirty, so unworthy

There has been some scripture that has been laying on my heart and in my mind a lot of the last week or so.

In Acts, Luke is recounting what happened after Jesus rose from the dead. It actually reads kind of like an adventure story. But the part of it that has been sticking with me is in chapter 11- Peter is telling the other apostles about this vision that he had, where a voice from heaven is telling him to eat things that have been seen in his culture as "impure" or "unclean" for thousands of years. Peter is appalled at this request, but the voice tells him, "Do not call something 'unclean' if God has made it clean."

After this event, Peter has an opportunity to share the gospel with a group of Gentiles and all of them come to know God through that and receive forgiveness for their sins, a rite that was only for the Jews until Jesus came. And Peter defended himself to his fellow apostles by saying, "Who was I to stand in God's way?"

According to biblical standards, I am a Gentile. To my knowledge, no one in my family history was ever Jewish. Back in those days, I would have been looked at by others as "impure." As sinners, we are all unclean and impure. But through Jesus' sacrifice and God fulfilling His plan of redemption, we are all made clean.

But, how? Why? Why would God ever decide to do that? It doesn't make sense.
That's God's crazy love. It really reminds me a lot of the song "You and I" by Shane and Shane. The bridge of the song has one of them singing the words, "You are clean, I've called you clean..." over and over while the other sings in the background, "I am dirty, so unworthy..."

Do not call something 'unclean' if God has made it clean. 

Good Word.