Yet I still dare to hope...

A verse I have been clinging to this month is in Lamentations 3.

¹⁹ The thought of my suffering and homelessness

      is bitter beyond words.^[a]

 ²⁰ I will never forget this awful time,

      as I grieve over my loss.

 ²¹ Yet I still dare to hope
      when I remember this:

 ²² The faithful love of the Lord never ends!^[b]
      His mercies never cease.

 ²³ Great is his faithfulness;
      his mercies begin afresh each morning.

 ²⁴ I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
      therefore, I will hope in him!”

The writer of Lamentations, possibly the prophet Jeremiah, describes his bitterness and the awful circumstances that surrounded him during this particular season of his life. It's pretty heavy stuff. Feeling like God has turned on him- lead into darkness, besieged and surrounded by anguish and distress, buried in a dark place, walled in, bound in heavy chains, blocked his path, dragged him off and torn him to pieces, shot arrows into his heart, people mocking him, filled him with bitterness... Utterly and completely hopeless. Then...
 
"Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this..." 

He remembers the goodness of the Lord. His faithful love and unceasing mercies. That God is good to those who depend on him. That the Lord is good to those who trust in him and search for him. That no one is abandoned by the Lord forever. That though he brings grief, he also shows compassion and unfailing love. God allows these bad things to happen to us, but he doesn't want it to be that way forever. 

For me, this month has been a lot of realizing my own faults and struggles. And the consequences of those faults- feeling like I am just abandoned in this wilderness with no sign of refuge in sight, questioning why God would ever bring me to this place if I were just going to fail. Seeing the areas in which I initially rely on my own strength and skill to get by...  has been extremely humbling. 

But that is why I have been clinging to that verse, "yet I still dare to hope..." when I remember the Lord's greatness and his love for me. That these things, these faults of mine that are coming to light... need to be brought there. 

These sins and bad habits need to be brought to the light so I can get rid of them. 

So I can become the woman that God intends for me to be. 

So that my life can be a greater witness to the greatness of God and the redemption of the gospel. For this I will continue to say...

Yet I still dare to hope...